孩子拜託還給我自由！心累媽媽曬出「育兒疲倦日常」　頭髮每天超凌亂「一看到孩子只想裝睡」太中肯

雖然很多人到了適婚年齡後，都很想趕快走入婚姻與另一半共組家庭，擁有自己的寶貝孩子！不過事實上，當你有了孩子以後你才會知道「育兒生活」到底有多辛苦啊～

最近外國有位媽媽在IG上分享自己「走入婚姻＋當媽媽的經驗談」後，不但讓許多媽媽看了心有戚戚焉之外，甚至靠著幽默又搞笑的風格，成為了追蹤人數高達14萬超人氣網紅媽媽！

接下來就讓我們一起來看看，究竟這位媽媽到底靠著什麼樣有趣的內容，讓這麼多人產生共鳴吧！

這位IG帳號為@Victoriaemes的女子，是一位現居於英國的年輕媽媽！雖然當初她也跟許多「即將為人母」的準媽媽們一樣，滿歡心喜地迎接新生命，但當家裡真的出現一位新成員後，才驚覺這正是心累的開始阿XD

因為自從當媽媽之後，除了沒辦法像以前一樣常常跟閨蜜出去逛街，為了照顧剛出生的寶寶也得時時刻刻都處於備戰狀態，連最基本的覺都無法好好睡，根本一刻都無法閒下來！

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We're three quarters of the way through Frozen and it's not even 6am. "Do you wanna build a snowman???" No you big eyed twat, I want to punch your precocious little face and go the fuck back to bed. For the sake of all parents, STOP CHANGING THE BASTARD CLOCKS #imnotamorningperson #gmt #clocksgoback #time #earlymorning #parenthood #motherhood #imisssleep #nosleepclub #sleep #extrahour #extrahourofsleepdeprivation

Victoria Emes（@victoriaemes）分享的貼文 於PDT 2019 年 10月 月 26 日 下午 11:24張貼

還會常常出現雙眼無神放空、一臉心累很累的模樣XD每天都只想裝睡不想面對一切！

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Sleep when the baby sleeps they said - but maybe not the best idea when you're in a packed Costa and you've just downed a pint of espresso. Once that caffeine hits my poo passage, I can not be held responsible for the actions of my anus. My brain might be able to switch off but my bumhole is a another story. So soz to the sweet old dear enjoying her frappuccino sitting on the table next to me - I didn't intentionally land a hot one directly onto your freshly buttered teacake but shit happens, and in this case, literally. I'm just a knackered mum, with a more knackered anus, trying desperately to get a moment's bastard peace. #norestforthewicked #norestfortheweary #knackered #nosleepclub #napssavelives #motherhood #parenthood #sleep #babysleeping

Victoria Emes（@victoriaemes）分享的貼文 於PST 2019 年 11月 月 4 日 下午 10:52張貼

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Lock up your children…and your biscuits...it’s time for the resurrection of MOMBIE!!!! No need to find a Halloween outfit these days. The horror of surviving years of sleep deprivation, my children’s relentless demands, and the general battery of motherhood has provided me with the perfect fancy dress look to rival the undead. Shame it's my actual permanent face now. Happy Halloween slags! Wuuuuhahahahahahaha (that’s an evil laugh FYI) Voiceover courtesy of Papa Crafty Make up courtesy of Hubs #eyebagsforlife #knackered #mombie #mombielife #halloweencostumes #zombie #zombieapocalypse #zombies #halloweencostume #halloween #zombiemakeup #scarymakeup #horror #horrormovies #nightofthelivingdead #livingdead #parenthood #parentingmemes #funny #funnymemes #motherhood #thisweekoninstagram #kidsaretheworst

Victoria Emes（@victoriaemes）分享的貼文 於PDT 2019 年 10月 月 29 日 下午 11:54張貼

舉白旗投降了，拜託放過你媽媽好嗎...

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Yesterday was probably the hardest day I've had in lockdown. There was no particular reason for it other than, you know, fucking lockdown. So just in case you're having one of those days today, just know this: 1. You're doing a brilliant job 2. Kids are wankers 3. Partners are even bigger wankers 4.No one will ever reach your standards of cleanliness/organisation/parenting/ability to unload the dishwasher so let it go (obvs I'm talking about hubs here the twat) 5. Eat the fucking cake 6. Screw the WHO guidelines and let the kids watch TV all day 7. Unfollow the twat on social media who makes you feel inadequate for not ''living your best life' or relishing every second with your children or cultivating their own vaginal yeast to make homemade sour bread during lockdown - and if that's you, please unfollow me 8. Find a pillow to scream into 9. Have a gin 10. THIS. WILL. END. Its a case of #staysane as much as it is a case of #staysafe Love you x #lockdownsurvival #lockdown #parentingtips

Victoria Emes（@victoriaemes）分享的貼文 於PDT 2020 年 5月 月 3 日 上午 12:24張貼

收也收不完的玩具！來人阿誰來幫幫我QQ

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Sometimes motherhood can feel like one continuous hard punch to the vadge. I’m three years and 2 months into this mad journey and my flaps still metaphorically burn on the regs, and it’s not just recurring thrush. This week has been one of those weeks. Long, challenging, emotionally overwhelming and punctuated with moments of such crippling anxiety that I’ve questioned my ability to mother my own children. I know deep down that I’m doing a pretty good job (just don’t mention the vapour rub face mask my toddler gave himself this week) but occasionally my brain tells me otherwise and I enter into a state of Mum funk. Once that bastard gets hold of you, it can be pretty damn hard to shake off, especially when, let’s face it, there’s no fucking break from bringing up children. But today, I am over my own negativity. I’m giving my inner thoughts the finger and saying ‘fuck you’, I am enough. We are all enough! So if you’re currently doing the funky dance of self doubt and loathing, know that you're not alone and join me in giving yourself a little love today, however that manifests itself. For me, it’s locking the bathroom door and spending 20 minutes pretending to do a shit just to be alone or popping out for milk only to return two hours later having made a detour to TK Maxx, but most importantly, recognising my feelings, embracing them and reassuring myself that nothing ever stays the same. In the words of D:ream, things can only get better. I’ve got your flaps sistas! #motherhoodistough #mother #parenting #mindfulnessmeditation #mindfulness #motherhoodtruths #selflove #selfcare #burningmingeofmotherhood

Victoria Emes（@victoriaemes）分享的貼文 於PST 2019 年 12月 月 8 日 上午 1:46張貼

即便好不容易哄寶寶入睡後，還是有一大堆的家務事要做...

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When your hairdresser works his magic and transforms your barnet from Worzel Gummidge to Brigitte Bardot - You’re feeling fancy but there's no place to go cos your social life died seven years ago when you met your husband and swapped nightclubs, thongs, tequila and STDs for elasticated waistbands, a permanently hairy minge and a sensible bedtime. Still got it though babes (the sass yeah, not the STD). #mother #couplegoals #mumlife #hairgoals #funnyparents #parenthood #worzelgummidge

Victoria Emes（@victoriaemes）分享的貼文 於PST 2020 年 1月 月 21 日 下午 12:07張貼

這位巴不得想要立刻逃離家中的媽媽，一系列又幽默又中肯的育兒日常，也瞬間引起許多媽媽的共鳴，並忍不住驚呼：「真的是這樣！」

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Brian May called. He wants his hair back. Isolation barnet game be stronggggg betches. Don't drink and snip unless you want to look like a thumb with the grufflo's pubes glued on top. FML. #diyhaircut #hairstylist #brianmay #fit #beachhair #stayhome

Victoria Emes（@victoriaemes）分享的貼文 於PDT 2020 年 4月 月 11 日 上午 7:15張貼

不過雖然當媽之後，@Victoriaemes的生活可說是出現了大大的大轉變，但逐漸駕輕就熟的她也似乎慢慢找到了其中的樂趣～

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Victoria Emes（@victoriaemes）分享的貼文 於PST 2020 年 2月 月 7 日 上午 11:07張貼